Change

I know it's because I recently celebrated my birthday, I think this happens every year...a nice evaluation of my life. Everyone does this, right? First off, I love where I am in my life right now. I love being a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter, a friend. But what about the deeper part of my...what lies inside? I'll be the first to admit I don't have many talents I can showcase. I appreciate music, but I don't play any instruments, and my voice is bearable but definately no American Idol (which I'm excited about this year...after these first few weeks of nerves and uncomfortable moments, I think it will be GREAT!!). You all know how much I l.o.v.e. playing volleyball but I'm no star on the court. I'm not an artist. I'm not a writer. I'm not a collector. I'm not a chef or a baker. So, what am I?

Okay, so all of that has been well known to me for years and years. I have talents...we all have talents. And why am I talking about talents anyway? That's not what I'm here for. For several weeks I've realized how often I say the phrase "I wish I was _____". Here's just a few words I've inserted in the blank recently:

• a runner--I see people running and it looks so refreshing. I can just imagine that adrenaline and high that runners get...if only
• more thoughtful--I've had several instances in the past few weeks of people close to me, or even aquaintances, who could use a good phone call, letter, flowers, acts of service...and it's not until after I hear about all the thoughtful people who pulled them through the rough time that I think "oh yeah, I should have done that"
• outgoing--I've never been outgoing. I don't know that I'd necessarily call myself shy, but I don't approach people I don't know and make small talk. I have several brothers in law who are great examples of people who can talk to strangers and end as friends

So, last night I was with my mom and she said "If there was one thing about your character that you could change this week, what would it be?" And it was then that I realized I can change. Why do I always wonder...why don't I make the change. So this morning I woke up and promised myself I would call my dear friend M and check up on her. I don't know if I was lacking courage or words, but it took me several hours to make this call. But I did it, and it was such a great phone call. So maybe I can be more thoughtful! I have room to grow...lots of room. But it's all about baby steps, right? There's hope for me! And I can do it!