Sometimes it's hard being a parent

We had a pretty good day today. The morning went smoothly getting Ry off to school. I held Lana too long before getting in the shower and getting us all ready to go to lunch at Zupas in AF with my sistas! I wanted to get there a bit early so I could feed Lana. Instead we got there right on time but then we were late because we stayed in the car to feed Lana. Lunch was great and it was fun seeing Kacy and kids back in Utah. I miss her when they are in Australia. I sure do hope my family will all live in close proximity our entire lives! Amy wasn't able to come to lunch...

Asher and I had to have a talk yesterday about being honest. After Jack left Asher was supposed to clean up. He told me his room was clean. I told him to double check and make sure it was all picked up before I checked it. He came back downstairs and told me it was clean. A bit later I went to check and was disappointed to see it was a mess! I got Asher into his room and we had a talk after which he cleaned his room. Well, today Asher asked for ice cream. I agreed, but after dinner. We had tacos so it wasn't a terrible dinner, but Asher said he wasn't hungry. (At least he ate his carrots) I asked him if he was going to be hungry for ice cream and he said no. I told him several times Ry and Tyce would be eating ice cream and he would not get any. "I don't care. I don't want ice cream" he told me. Okay. Well, when it came time for ice cream he started crying and asked if he could have another chance to eat his taco then have ice cream. I reluctantly agreed. Halfway through he asked if he could be done. No, I told him to eat all of his taco. I went upstairs to get something and he called up asking if he could throw his plate away. I asked him to keep it on the table so I could see how much he ate. I went downstairs to see it completely empty and he said "I ate my taco, can I have ice cream now?" I saw taco meat on the floor by the trash can and sure enough, there sat the rest of his taco in the garbage. I dished up ice cream for Ry and Tyce and pulled Asher into the other room. I reminded him of our talk yesterday about telling the truth and I told him I couldn't give him any ice cream because he lied to me and did not eat his taco. "But sometimes I just forget to tell you" We went over honesty again and the importance of it, I told him how sad it makes me when he lies and I asked him how he felt at that moment. "Sad" (maybe because he knew he wasn't getting any ice cream!) I said I was sorry and sad for him that he wouldn't be able to eat ice cream with us but I know he can make better choices and tell me the truth. He hung his head low, said "ok" and quietly walked upstairs to his room. I sat down with Tyce and Ry and did not enjoy my ice cream very much. It's hard being a parent and enforcing rules and trying to find the right way to teach these important life principles.

I dropped off asher and Tyce at Deborah's house in Lehi on my way up to primary children's for Lana's appt with dr book. We stopped at the la first and then went to dr books office. We were late ad got I right away. After Lana s weighed ad measured dr book came in and asked me how I thought laa was doing. I told her Lana still looks rather jaundiced to me and I sometimes worry when her poo is white or pale. She listened to her and checked her out then looked up her lab results. I don't even remember what she said exactly but she shared her concern that the procedure didn't work. Lanas jaundice levels are at a 6. on dec 5 they wwre a 5, on surgery day, dec 11 they were at 7. And lana has only gained ons pound (dr book said she should hace gained two to three pounds). dr book kept emphasizing that we aren't ruling out a successful surgery quite yet but it doesn't look good so far. I couldn't help but let the tears fall. She let me cry for a bit as she briefly talked about liver transplants and possible reasons why the kasai may not have worked on Lana (too much scarring on her liver and a shriveled up gallbladder), I continued to cry as she left the room. In came Barbie, the child services lady who talks with dr books patients, especially the transplant/future transplant patients. She said several times that her prescience did not necessarily mean we're headed for a transplant any time soon, that she was going to come meet us anyway, but dr book stopped her and asked her to come talk to me.

Anyway, there were more comforting words shared from Barbie, dr book, and other team members. I'm not too sure what to expect. We have an appt again in two weeks. Dr book said Lana will just get sicker as time goes by before she will be put on the transplant list...fevers, not eating, weak, stomach looking swollen...

Also today...we got home from the cabin yesterday, Kevin unloaded the car and then took everything upstairs. I had a separate plastic sack tha Thad my makeup bag, some Capri suns and asher power rangers game. I couldn't find it and Kevin didn't re,ember seeing it'd. I called my mom who called my dad and they didn't have it. My wedding ring was in my makeup bag so I cried with worry. I decided to g t park city to look in the dumpsters by the cabin. I drove an hour to get there and did t see it I. The dumpsters. I asked a guy who stopped to get his ,ail and he said the garbage man came earlier today. I didn't have a feeling of despair so I was sure the bag was somewhere else. I talked to Kevin on my way home and said may e the boys out it so where, wanting to lay the powere rangers game. He called me back a couple ,inures later-- he found it!! He remembered he had out away the games and there it was in the closr wither the other game bags! Yay!!