Lana at 4 months

This little girl is full of smiles and laughter and love which fills my heart with so much joy I'm often brought to tears. I adore her.
She's started putting her hands in her mouth, often taking out her pacifier to suck on her hands instead. She's not big on tummy time but I have seen her wobble from side to side just a bit in the last couple weeks. She'll hold her head up high and be content for at least a few minutes as long as someone is lying next to her, talking to her. She still wakes up during the night to eat but that's okay with me. Her first stretch of the night is usually about five hours then it's a couple three hour stretches after that (almost three hours on the dot usually!) I'm usually surprised to wake up and look at the clock to see that it's indeed been three hours. Most of the time I feel like I just barely crawled back in to bed and closed my eyes! I'm glad she goes right back to sleep after eating. She is dearly loved by her brothers. Asher and Tyce sometimes call her "lani" (lahnee) which I didn't like at first but now I think it's cute :) Asher probably gives her the most love, wanting to hold her, read to her, push her in her swing, talk to her...he's such a caring brother. Most days I don't want to put her down and dread laundry, dinner and cleaning even more knowing I'll have to put her down to get it done!!!
Lana's last appointment with Dr. Book was nearly 2 weeks ago. Her next appointment is tomorrow. Last time was more talk of getting Lana on the transplant list. Dr. Book said she's giving us time to mourn the Kasai not working and once we're ready to move on then they will start the work up to get Lana on the list. But she warned me if we're not getting ready soon enough then she will push us along and wake us up to get us going! She said we don't even have a year to get used to it, not even six months she guesses. It will be good to get Lana on the list as soon as we can though, because with her good health we can be picky about the livers available. The sicker she gets and the more desperate she gets for a new liver, the more likely we have to choose one that's not the perfect perfect match. As Dr. Book was telling me all of this I got the thought, the feeling that that is exactly why the Kasai did not work. Because the liver that Lana gets is going to be the best liver for her, and had she waited two, four, eight years, the liver wouldn't have been the exact one she needs. I don't know, of course, that's just the feeling that came to me.
Lana isn't gaining weight quickly enough so they gave me some formula, Progestimil, that has MCT oil in it to help her gain weight. I have to give this to her for half of her daily feedings, mixed in with breast milk. I have to pump and then add in the formula and give her a bottle. She's my first baby I've fed with a bottle! She doesn't like it but is getting better. I keep saying I'm going to buy a few different types of bottle and see if she prefers one over the others. Maybe that will help?
About two weeks ago I got a call from my friend and neighbor, Heidi. Her sister (who happens to live next door to my brother and coincidentally named her little boy Tyce after Heidi suggested the name to her :) Heather Telford is a photographer and was looking for a baby girl to model some hairbows. I was so pleased that Heidi thought of my little Lana! A couple hours later we went to Heather's house for a quick photo shoot. Lana was the perfect baby, full of smiles and just adorable! Amy brought me a cd of the photos a few days later and they were very very cute. Again, I'm so happy Heidi called!
Lana really is the perfect little 4 month old!